Undressing for sex when you feel you’re fat.

It’s easy to tell someone’s self conscious about being
because when they undress for sex
they always take their trousers off
before their shirt.

Another dead giveaway
is the futile attempt to hold their stomach in
whilst trying to pull off their socks.

With practise what usually happens is this-
firstly they make a bee-line for the side of the bed away from
the bedside lamp. Then back turned to both
the light and their partner
they slip down their trousers past their knees
whilst at the same time loweing themselves into the upright
position on the edge of the bed.
Next, they step out of the trouser legs, tread off their socks,
undo all
their shirt buttons, breath in and try in one swift movement
to discard their shirt and slip gracefully under the cover.

A complete waste of effort.
No one, but no one has a hope in Hell of ever enjoying sex
whilst trying to hold their breath.

Nevertheless, in the cold light of morning
they attempt once more to continue the deception and try
to ooze out of bed unnotices.

Henry Normal.