Archivos por etiqueta: John Agard

Reporting from the Frontline of the Great Dictionary Disaster

Why has the English dictionary grown so thin? Why is it weeping between its covers? Because today is the day all words of foreign origin return to their native borders. Linguists are rioting in the streets. Crosswords lovers are on hunger strike. But words are voting with their feet and familiar objects across the British […]

Alternative Anthem

Put the kettle on Put the kettle on It is the British answer to Armageddon. Never mind taxes rise Never mind trains are late One thing you can be sure of and that’s the kettle, mate. It’s not whether you lose It’s not whether you win It’s whether or not you’ve plugged the kettle in. […]

Coffee in heaven

You’ll be greeted by a nice cup of coffee when you get to heaven and strains of angelic harmony. But wouldn’t you be devastated if they only serve decaffeinated while from the percolators of hell your soul was assaulted by Satan’s fresh espresso smell? John Agard.